Vibing...

It is a new term. My kids use it. It means to really be in line with something or someone. Like you are picking up the other person’s vibe and that is a good thing.

Urban Dictionary says this: To get into or tap into one's good feelings. Usually due to good music that makes you feel good or a certain positive way.

What I am realizing, again way too late in life, is that it is all about energy.

Mine...

I have always been an overly energetic person. My mom stopped napping me at younger than two because I would get fifteen minutes and be good for another twelve hours.

What I never realized before was how much other people glommed onto me to tap into my energy. And how much I did that to other people...

I think today vibing is mostly a good thing. Not meant as a negative.

“We were totally vibing...”

"I was feeling his vibe..."

"Its all good vibes..."

I guess what I am thinking right now is that perhaps all of us are paying more attention to the energy within us and the energy of others. And this is a good thing.

The older I get the more I realize that my energy and what I do with it, who I let share it, who I give it to, how I protect it is something that is critically important. My younger years were fraught with me having energy that just seemed to fire hose those around me and leave me spent and exhausted from the effort. I was always trying to give my time and energy to people and I never really stopped to see if we “vibed.” I vibed so that was enough for me.

Today I can see how much and how critical it is for that to be a two way street. I can vibe all I want but if the other person isn't, then the energy is only going to get tangled up into a crazy mess or fall amazingly flat and leave me wanting.

I got a fortune cookie one time a million years ago and it revolutionized my love life...it said, “When it is right, you both know.” What the fuck??? Really!? I was absolutely sure up until that time that I was the only one that had to be sure. The guy and his opinion were things that I could manipulate and change or just weren’t important. I know this revelation doesn’t make me look great but it is true. I never really thought about what the guy wanted...I just wanted enough for both of us...or I didn’t.

So besides being incredibly self centered, I also got it wrong...a lot. I was always latching onto people, ideas and things that only I was interested in. I would totally miss other connections because they were totally vibing with me and I was just too busy chasing down some random connection I thought I found to even pay attention. This resulted in me missing a lot...often.

Well I am older, fuck so much older now. And slower. And I value the energy I have and so I am much more decisive as to where I put it and with whom I share it. I am much more stingy with my energy and what I have found is that I don’t vibe with nearly as many people as I used to...and that is a good thing. When I was always running around connecting up with whomever crossed my path, I bled myself dry of energy that I needed for my own life. I couldn’t get my shit together because I was always allowing myself to become derailed with others energetic fields and ideologies.

Today, I hold back but in a good way. Today I can meet a person and know in five minutes (or less) that I do not want to spend any time at all with that person. Today I know that I have to be careful who I let in because my energy and what it is used for is super important to me. I need it for my job, for my kids and family and for myself. I need me in my life. Which was something revolutionary for this particular gal.

Today, I vibe with me and that allows me to more authentically vibe with others. I am taking care of myself and treating myself with the respect and care that I have always deserved just didn’t get the memo in life until way late. This isn’t to say that I was not handed the memo multiple times in my life, just that I was too busy vibing with every fucking thing to actually stop and read the damn memo!

Today I have read the memo and I am good. Vibing with myself is what allows me to authentically vibe with others. And to do so in a way that leaves us both feeling uplifted, heard and seen. Today, I feel like my relationships are the best they have ever been and that has also resulted in having less of them which is fine. I learned the hard way that vibing with everyone is exhausting and really not possible. Because in the end, I had no good vibes for anyone...most especially myself!

My new mantra is "Vibing is a self centered thing, it begins with me and radiates outward like a ripple in a pond, it cares not what it vibrates...and that is exactly what I need to be mindful of..." Vibe on my brothers and sisters...but make sure you vibe with you...always.