I have a few of them in my life.. Moving around as much as I did as a kid. I think I counted 10 different schools I attended between kindergarten and my senior year. So moving around that much, it is hard to maintain and keep relationships. I have only people I have reconnected with on Facebook that go back to elementary school. And when I say reconnected, I mean we are just friends on Facebook.
So people, besides my mother and father, who have known me in all my various forms are rare. But this last week an old friend of my mom’s came for a visit and I realized in her time here that she is actually my friend too. She has known me since I was 10. And that was a fucking long time ago.
It was so nice having her here. My mom really needed someone to change up her everyday and take her out into the world to do just fun things. And the two of them, friends for like 44 something years was just exactly what I think my mom needed.
It takes a lot of mutual effort to sustain a friendship for that long. Most especially since the two of them did not live in the same geographic location for most of that time. I think they were friends for like 3 years when we moved away. So the bulk of their friendship has been sustained over miles and miles. But they have done it. They love each other and the friendship, good will, unconditional positive regard they have for each other is palpable.
I realized on this trip, that she is my friend too. Not in the same way or manner but that she is someone I love and cherish and am in relationship with also. Not the same as the one my mom shares with her, but something real and true and deep.
I love this woman, her indomitable spirit. Her kindness. Her just goodness. She is thoughtful to a fault. Loving and long suffering. She has her own demons, we all do, but she works at them and on them daily. She knows who she is and how she shows up in this world for the people she loves is truly amazing. She makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world. And that is a rare gift indeed.
I am so grateful to her and for her. She is just an amazing, loving soul that I am so grateful happened into my mother’s life, and that she has remained here with her, supporting her and loving my mom. She needs that right now, and I am so happy that Katie was able to come and give some love back to my mom who is so giving and loving to others.
Sometimes, the old friends you have aren’t really your old friends. If you are very lucky to be close to your mom, their old friends kind of become your old friends in some sort of magical universal good luck scheme.
I hope she comes back more often. I hope she finds peace and love and serenity in her own life. I hope she is happy and joyous and free. I realize too that she is subject of my unconditional positive regard...always. And it this UPR I have for her, is reciprocated 10 times over by her for my mom and me.
On the brink of madness in our time, it is so nice to be near someone who is a joy, fun and such a loving spirit. She is possibly the best reminder lately that people are basically good. People are trustworthy and wonderful. There are just those special people in this world who grace you with their lives and presence, and everything they touch is better. My mom is one of those people...and so is Katie. She is just a magical fucking unicorn person who brings light, laughter and love everywhere she goes. And I am grateful to be a recipient, that my mom and dad are a recipients. And I pray that we are able to give something back to her that feels somewhere in the ballpark of how we feel about her.
And it is these old, long lasting friendships that underscore just how very lucky we all are when we find people to share that unconditional positive regard with...again, still.
See, I inherited the sunglasses all the time thing from my mom...
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