Well, I am here again. Spiritual growth through subtraction. I have had a decision to make, and I have been all tied up in knots about it. Having too many options that all seemed viable. But in a fairly short period of time, I came to see that really there is only one new option that is viable. So I am choosing that.
And it is a relief. To have the other options eliminated. I can’t handle having that many choices. I get overwhelmed and I just can’t make forward progress. I need like two choices, for everything. My mind is complicated so I need the possibilities to not be.
And it is amazing, even though nothing is resolved and my problems are still my problems, I feel better. I have my current life, or another choice and that seems more manageable than a host of options and possibilities.
I know I am not alone. They have done studies. The more choices we have, the less free we feel. Having a million choices doesn’t really work all that well. It takes time, and thought, and consideration for each one of those options and if you have to do that with 10,000 things, you will never get anything accomplished because your brain just becomes a choice synthesizer...and there is not time for anything more.
So today I rest easier, with less to consider, perseverate about. I am free to do more things that make me happy, support my growth and change, and to relish the life I have in all its imperfections.
Today, I am grateful for the elimination of obstacles and options. To being able to trust the process: to enjoy my life, imperfect as it is and to move forward with the trust and idea that life is good, although sometimes without enough options and often with too many. My happiness appears to rest in the gap between all that possibility and all that falls away.
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