Today wraps up the fifth day I am in San Luis Obispo for work. I have been here meeting with people and getting our new office launched. It has been a whirlwind of a week and I am tired. I have worked at least 12 hours a day, for the last four days. I am tired...but in a good, accomplished sort of way.
I believe that I have the gift of gab. I can talk to anyone...about pretty much anything...except in fancy, canned parties, then I have nothing to say. Seriously, I am stymied. It is as if, all of a sudden, I am devoid of words, I am just standing there without a thing to say. Put me in a coffee shop, a form of public transport and I can talk all day...
So while working my regular job this past week, I have been up here getting to know the town, the people, other businesses, trying to understand the heart of this town. What matters and what does not. I have talked to a lot of people. And this is why I am tired. Talking to people requires heart and commitment, requires me to be present and engaged and this requires effort. Especially after all these months at home with just my daughter and the animals to talk to...this week has been more like a week I had from before the world changed forever. And guess what? I lack the stamina I used to have socially. Just being “on” this past week has really drained me. Lucky for me, I have nothing going on this weekend and I intend to do absolutely nothing for the next two days and also spend as little time as I can talking to people. I need some down time so that I can really engage again next week.
It is amazing to me how much being “on” and engaged took a toll on me this week. I am a little ashamed to admit it except that it is fascinating to me...fascinating in that I had no idea that I would feel this way. Energy always being something that I seem to have an over supply of...but I am here to report that as much as I love people and talking, I have officially talked myself out and I need a break.
What is most fascinating of all is that I have a limit. Well, perhaps more that I recognize my limit. This being something that I have struggled with my whole life...recognizing needs of my own that are inconvenient or, well, limiting. I am kind of an envelope pusher. Someone who gets up and really hits the day hard every day. I am a hard charger and give it all you have got kind of person and that is fundamentally exhausting for everyone involved but not for me historically. And I do not know whether or not that is because I just failed to see it or if in my advancing age, I am slowing down. Probably both.
So I feel like mission accomplished with work and that makes me feel better. I gave some love to some clients, current and past. I met some new people and spread the word that my firm is here and we would be honored to be of service if needed. I showed up and gave my time and attention and energy to moving forward in this new direction and that feels good while it also makes me tired. So I will drive home today sated and a little drained but I feel good about what I accomplished. Knowing that my current condition is the result of a life well lived and a work week done well. And that all of me is tired for good and productive reasons...
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