As I was wrapping up my day yesterday, I was closing out my web browser. I had Facebook opened as I was doing a little recognizance on potential clients, and I noticed that my profile picture was five years old. Facebook is more a tool I use for work than something that I really use for connection. Although, that seems to be changing...
I was tired and wanted to just finish my day and go home. I was looking forward all day to watching the last episode of Season One of "You" on Netflix. But for some reason, my thought that I should update my profile picture won out. Now I have thought about changing it for months, with no follow through.
Truth be told, it was a hard day. Not in actual real life, but in my head. All day, my thoughts seemed to have it in for me. All day, just chewing on me. Telling me all sorts of crazy shit. Most of them not very nice.
So I hurried up and changed my profile photo, closed down my computer and headed home. I did this with no thought about any reaction I might have to this, to me, a relatively minor change.
I drove home in relative peace. Taking the time to look at the ocean as I drove down the coast. I really took it in. Thought about how lucky I am to have this commute. To live where I live. To have access to what I do. I realized how much time I spent in my head all day, refusing to see the beauty that surrounds me all the time living where I do. I breathed it all in and appreciated the sun setting over the Pacific.
I got home, spent time catching up with my nanny. She is one of the best people I know and I am always amazed at her innate goodness. How much she just always does the right thing. How much she loves her family and gives her time and attention to those she loves. How lucky my children and I are that she considers us to be part of that family. I am amazed at how easily she loves. She is just open. She cares. She gives. Always. I am not sure what I did right in this world to deserve her, but I am so very grateful for her.
I made a quick dinner (thank you Trader Joes) and finally sat down on the couch to zone out. My reward to pushing through a day I would have rather skipped. My daughter still MIA. She disappeared into her room to do whatever social online thing an almost 13 year old does...
I set my phone down next to me while I ate and watched TV. I noticed that I kept getting messages. I mean a lot. There were all these notifications going off on my phone. It was distracting...so I paused the TV and perused my phone.
I was shocked at how many people liked my photo change. I was even more shocked at how many people took the time to comment and compliment. I really had no idea that I would get any response, let alone over a hundred people liking my change.
I am not really sure that I have words to communicate how much I needed the shout out. How much I needed the love yesterday. I didn’t know how to ask for it. I didn’t even really know I needed it. But when I saw all the notifications and comments, I felt seen. I felt cared for. I felt the love.
I get that the internet is powerful and social media impressive with its influence and ability to permeate every day life. I guess I have never really experienced it on a personal level. I am not one to reach out on that platform. I do post my writing, but so far, it does not engender that kind of response.
I had no idea that updating my profile photo would connect and reconnect me to so many people. I had no idea how much I needed a boost. I had no idea how much I felt alone and disconnected. But I did.
Thank you to all of you who took the time to reach out with a like or thumb’s up. Thank you to those that took the time to write a comment. I was kind of drowning in my own head yesterday, consumed with thoughts that were not nice or kind. Mired in my own self loathing. I really needed something powerful to counterbalance me. And the universe sent me all of you. Thank you.
I hadn’t a clue that making this one slight change would give me the boost that I needed. This made me think about how all the tiny kindnesses I do that seemingly mean nothing to me, might mean to someone else. How I have an opportunity every day to do many small acts that might be huge to someone else. My profile photo changed yesterday showed me how much we are all interconnected. How much we are all out there in cyberspace, linked across the inter webs in our joy, sadness, suffering and just plain old daily living.
It made me think of the pebble in the pond. How one tiny post can change someone’s whole day. And how contagious that change can be for others. I felt lighter and less loathing, I was able to relax a little more and lighten up. I was able to sit and talk to my daughter free of self. Just sit and cuddle with her on the couch. The posts gave me that. A little buoyancy on a day when I felt like I was sinking.
Made me see how powerful one post can be. Made me see that if I am ever wondering what I can do to help another, it really can be as simple as liking a post or making a kind comment. I have no idea the suffering that might be on the other side of that post. I am going to be more mindful about that...more conscious of what I read and how I react to it. Realizing that every action I take in this life, has a consequence. I can really be more intentional about my presence in this world. How I show up. How I do this life.
Yesterday, I got some much needed uplifting. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t even know that I needed it. Thank you. Thank you to all the people who took the time to give to me. I felt it. It mattered.
Thank you also to my friend Jayme who brought me lavender. She just does kind stuff like that all the time. Just shows up and brings just the right tiny token to show she cares. She is thinking about you. Tells you in a concrete way - “you matter to me." Flowers always say “I care." Thank you my dear friend for bring me evidence of my worth.
My experience yesterday changed me. I now feel like I have this amazing tool at my disposal to effectuate change in other people’s lives. I can make a difference, a tiny, small but important difference. Social media changed for me yesterday. I kind of did it half hearted. Not really being a person that puts it all out there in that way. Yesterday, I saw the power of connection in action and I am going to consciously use my social media access to uplift others. I am going to try to read through the Facebook happy and see where there is a post that perhaps is making a request like I did yesterday...”Please see me. I need to be seen today.” I didn’t know that I was saying that...but I do now. I am going to change my lens for viewing social media. I am going to see where I can bring a little light. Giving back what was so freely given to me.
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